For those of you who know me, I rarely take stretches of time off. Usually I just like to extend my weekends and take a few hours off the day and such. Lately however there's been a lot of mental backlash and I'm just dog tired of being here.
I was reading the news this morning, which in itself can be an exercise in depression, but I've come to realize that there's very little going on right now that is positive. 'Hold on a sec there Freeman. Are you saying the world is going to hell in a hand basket?' No. What I am saying is that there's a ton of upheaval the world over, and many of us are stuck in the middle of it. When did ideas become something to fight over? There are many people out there who have ideas that some people don't like, and other plain hate, but they're just ideas. Belief systems seem to be another thing to argue about. Social traditions, and territorial disputes another. One man has a few extra inches of land than his neighbour, or the other guy doesn't like that dude playing heavy metal in his garage for the world to hear. People abusing one another, addictions, corruption, and lost in all this are people who want nothing to do with any of it. But you have to show up and do the work, otherwise you won't be able to go home to that house you're paying for. If you don't file that form, then your kid won't be able to get that medicine, or your car will be pulled over for expired plates. Bureaucracy amok. Ridiculous opinions. Food problems. New diseases. Conspiracy. Hatred. It's to much.
For those of you who have seen a particular clip of the movie "Network" when the protagonist is lecturing the world about humanity, and the worlds disconcerting lack of it, his quote comes to mind. "I'm a human being God dammit! My life has value!" I am mad as hell, but I'm not sure if I'm to the point where I'm not going to take it anymore. The modern day people go to schools and kill students, or decide they're going to become religious fundamentalists and overthrow government. But why would I want to do that? Am I so disenfranchised and full of spite that I need to make others suffer for my problems? I don't believe so, but I need space to breathe and clean air to do it with. I need quiet to think, and inspiration to make dreams come alive. I need love to function, and there seems to be an unbelievable lack of it in the world. What have we done to ourselves? Should I be so afraid to live that a darkened closet might be the last place of refuge for me? If I had an ounce more of gumption I might be more tempted to say 'the hell with it', and walk off into the wilderness alone to try and survive without TV, taxes, and the lying liars who run the whole world.
But for now, I elect to take a moment to clear my thoughts, and ponder how bad I need time to myself. The noise of my work environment pierces my headphones partially drowning out the gentle and melodious tones of the music I listen to. I think of all the people I've known the last few years, and mostly those whom I've lost, and wonder what it's all for? So vacation I will have eventually, even if I'm taking one just to ignore the world for another day.
Freeman
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Apocalypse
Canada gets the win in Olympic hockey, and now has the most gold medals of any Winter Olympic host country.
With that said surely it's a sign of the end of days. There's a television show on the history channel called"The Nostradamus Effect" which purports to sensationally analyze the questions surrounding prophets through history and a possibility of the end of the world. I've never read my Nostradamus, nor have I delved into anything Edgar Cayce, or anything else prophetic other than the Book of Revelations in the bible. I'm not necessarily a prophecy believer, but I've been wonder as of late if there is something brewing in the cosmic stew.
About six or seven weeks ago there was a major earthquake in the Carribean which devastated part of the island nation of Haiti killing thousands. In the last week there was another one near Chile which caused extensive damage, and although it was a larger earthquake, did not cause the same amount of destruction. It did result in a tsunami though which ran out of steam somewhere in the Pacific. Not that long ago there was another Tsunami near the Philippines and India which killed thousands as well. So it seems that the Mother is angry with us, and she's determined to get the message through, whatever that maybe.
So I find it exceedingly odd that all of these catastrophes seem to be cropping up around the same time. So of you out there may think that 'Of course! It's because Jesus is coming you moron! Accept the saviour and you shall be brought to Heaven when the rapture comes!' But I don't believe that. Nor do I believe the in the 2011/2012 hype in which the galactic alignment is going to cause all kinds of calamity. The changing of the age will not be marked with fire and brimstone, the moon appearing as blood, and the sun dying out. Up will not be down, and dogs will not mate with cats. If anything the time will pass and be marked by a few as being something of an occult or esoteric event, with the understanding that celestially this will not happen again for a very, very long time. It is a passage of time, a moment which is rare and should be appreciated for it rarity and nothing more. If Ragnarok is to approach us, and Fenris attempts to devour the world, it will be of our own making. The truth of the matter is maybe we deserve a major catastrophe. No I'm not looking to espouse a doomsday scenario on anyone, but the developed countries rarely seem to experience any kind of major damage from on high. In fact I can't think of the last time massive flooding forced evacuation in a European country, or Canada had a cold snap so bad that it kept everyone indoors for weeks. The United States had Hurricane Katrina, but as major as that was still seems not to compare to the number of deaths accumulated by the Haitian earthquake, or the Philippine tsunami.
I don't want to visit disaster on a nation, or any nation for that matter, but someone is trying to tell us something important, and we need to listen.
With that said surely it's a sign of the end of days. There's a television show on the history channel called"The Nostradamus Effect" which purports to sensationally analyze the questions surrounding prophets through history and a possibility of the end of the world. I've never read my Nostradamus, nor have I delved into anything Edgar Cayce, or anything else prophetic other than the Book of Revelations in the bible. I'm not necessarily a prophecy believer, but I've been wonder as of late if there is something brewing in the cosmic stew.
About six or seven weeks ago there was a major earthquake in the Carribean which devastated part of the island nation of Haiti killing thousands. In the last week there was another one near Chile which caused extensive damage, and although it was a larger earthquake, did not cause the same amount of destruction. It did result in a tsunami though which ran out of steam somewhere in the Pacific. Not that long ago there was another Tsunami near the Philippines and India which killed thousands as well. So it seems that the Mother is angry with us, and she's determined to get the message through, whatever that maybe.
So I find it exceedingly odd that all of these catastrophes seem to be cropping up around the same time. So of you out there may think that 'Of course! It's because Jesus is coming you moron! Accept the saviour and you shall be brought to Heaven when the rapture comes!' But I don't believe that. Nor do I believe the in the 2011/2012 hype in which the galactic alignment is going to cause all kinds of calamity. The changing of the age will not be marked with fire and brimstone, the moon appearing as blood, and the sun dying out. Up will not be down, and dogs will not mate with cats. If anything the time will pass and be marked by a few as being something of an occult or esoteric event, with the understanding that celestially this will not happen again for a very, very long time. It is a passage of time, a moment which is rare and should be appreciated for it rarity and nothing more. If Ragnarok is to approach us, and Fenris attempts to devour the world, it will be of our own making. The truth of the matter is maybe we deserve a major catastrophe. No I'm not looking to espouse a doomsday scenario on anyone, but the developed countries rarely seem to experience any kind of major damage from on high. In fact I can't think of the last time massive flooding forced evacuation in a European country, or Canada had a cold snap so bad that it kept everyone indoors for weeks. The United States had Hurricane Katrina, but as major as that was still seems not to compare to the number of deaths accumulated by the Haitian earthquake, or the Philippine tsunami.
I don't want to visit disaster on a nation, or any nation for that matter, but someone is trying to tell us something important, and we need to listen.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The church can kiss my.......!
I just read an article and it's struck a chord, so maybe I should just stop writing right now and calm down.... I think not.
Apparently the righteous forces at the Vatican have some problems with the new James Cameron creation "Avatar", with that nations media denouncing the work due to it's nature based overtones. According to Gods word on Earth (the Pope), it is wrong to worship nature. Fancy that. Paying proper homage to the one thing that creates life, that which gave you the spark, and that which can end you if it sees fit. I say it, but really from a personal standpoint I refer to 'it' as 'She'. The Mother is not something to be cast aside so lightly as the Pope would have us do, but something to be revered, and thanked for allowing us the days we live. It seems to me that the revealed word has destroyed more than the Mother's mysteries have given. But in my fury,I digress....
The Vatican has really got to get it's head out of Gods ass, and realize that Avatar is just a movie. A story designed to thrill, with intense imagery, and incredible special effects. It's not some devilish subversion designed to throw down the gauntlet before the church and take up arms in some unholy crusade. Just a movie.
If anything the Vatican should take it upon itself to leave Pagans alone. After all who are we hurting? Just because I like to sit under a tree and ponder the mystery and wonder of Nature, and what the Mother has offered me, does not make me evil. It does however seem to me that anyone who would willingly force their beliefs upon me, has some kind of evil taint. Maybe they should spend more time examining the world and how they fit in it, rather than going around telling people how wrong they are. I find it offensive to be able to read in the news how intolerance creeps into an institution which supposedly preaches peace, love, and unity for all mankind. But then again I was a Catholic before I was a Pagan, and it wasn't until of late that I had realized that I was happier being a tree-hugging, dirt-worshipping Pagan, rather than kneeling before an altar of deceit, bowing to a God who commands you to have no other God before him. Jealous much?
Now that was a rant. A short one, but a rant nonetheless......
Blessed Be.
Apparently the righteous forces at the Vatican have some problems with the new James Cameron creation "Avatar", with that nations media denouncing the work due to it's nature based overtones. According to Gods word on Earth (the Pope), it is wrong to worship nature. Fancy that. Paying proper homage to the one thing that creates life, that which gave you the spark, and that which can end you if it sees fit. I say it, but really from a personal standpoint I refer to 'it' as 'She'. The Mother is not something to be cast aside so lightly as the Pope would have us do, but something to be revered, and thanked for allowing us the days we live. It seems to me that the revealed word has destroyed more than the Mother's mysteries have given. But in my fury,I digress....
The Vatican has really got to get it's head out of Gods ass, and realize that Avatar is just a movie. A story designed to thrill, with intense imagery, and incredible special effects. It's not some devilish subversion designed to throw down the gauntlet before the church and take up arms in some unholy crusade. Just a movie.
If anything the Vatican should take it upon itself to leave Pagans alone. After all who are we hurting? Just because I like to sit under a tree and ponder the mystery and wonder of Nature, and what the Mother has offered me, does not make me evil. It does however seem to me that anyone who would willingly force their beliefs upon me, has some kind of evil taint. Maybe they should spend more time examining the world and how they fit in it, rather than going around telling people how wrong they are. I find it offensive to be able to read in the news how intolerance creeps into an institution which supposedly preaches peace, love, and unity for all mankind. But then again I was a Catholic before I was a Pagan, and it wasn't until of late that I had realized that I was happier being a tree-hugging, dirt-worshipping Pagan, rather than kneeling before an altar of deceit, bowing to a God who commands you to have no other God before him. Jealous much?
Now that was a rant. A short one, but a rant nonetheless......
Blessed Be.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Damned potato chips taste so good!
I got fat.
The holiday season hit, and I relaxed, ate some chips, had some cake, brownies, more chips, fudge, and on and on...... Oh throw in some Turkey while you're at it.
So I knew it was time for a change. My health is something that I need to retain while I can, because I really don't feel like becoming part of a large demographic (That wasn't meant to be a pun), so now I know change must occur. I made myself a new years resolution, or rather a promise, that I would curb the fast food quite a bit. I know McD's and the King are out to kill me, because I smile every time I willingly take their poison. But now that's all changed.
At one point in my life I would have said that any man who had a problem looking himself in the mirror was weak. That they needed a smack and a good yelling at for a half hour to make them see the light. Well now I look myself in the mirror and my gut sticks out, and I'm pissed. I spent a lot of years shoveling crap down my throat and kept thin because my metabolism was high. I gained some weight, and lost a bunch while on tour, but then came home and blossomed into the fine individual I am now. I'm bigger than I have ever been in my life, and most people would look and say that I'm not that big. Nuts to them. The measure I use to determine my largeness is not just my pants waist, or the scale, but something simpler. My shoes.
Huh?!? Shoes?!?!?!? What are you going on about Freeman??? Shoes. If you have a gut, try and sit down with your pants on and done up, and try and tie your shoes on your feet. It is NOT a pleasant feeling having your stomach crammed up into your chest, all the while you have to huff and puff to keep the blood flowing to your brain. In point and fact, it sucks. Other than having ones testicles slapped, it's quite possibly one of the most uncomfortable feeling one can experience. Now I experience it on a daily basis, and hate myself because of it. The thing that kicked me when I was down was being on a military exercise last weekend, and finding that I was exceedingly winded at the end of 3kms. If there's one thing that will make me change it has to be the level of anger I experience.
Now obviously I'm not a fitness guru, nor am I a motivational speaker. Heck some days it takes everything I have just to get out of bed in the morning, and my wife would testify that it takes significant effort just to get me to do something. I'm lazy and it shows. Now I'm fat and lazy, and it shows more so. So change is coming, otherwise I'll become a one man cheese burger apocalypse.
Current Weight = 219 = Not Happy
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Time.....
New Year. New post. What to write about?......
I'm sitting at work listening to the song birds of the Celtic Woman troupe sing their catalogue, and their melodious tones are soothing. I think I need that sort of comfort in the new year. Looking across the lunch room at a newspaper my co-workers was holding up the headline read something like "Taliban Winning - Study Shows". An off-handed but sobering reminder that I had participated in a war that people believe we're losing. Maybe I should step back a bit, and think of happier things.
The space shuttle has only five more runs until she retires, and then we still have little wait until her replacement shows up. Somehow when I think of the new rocket coming in, it's like watching a mid-life crisis happening. You get rid of your wife, rough around the edges but had taken care of your kids, for a slim sweet looking little slip of a thing. Strange how that comparison seems to fit. It's a year for change, or at least it has great potential for change. Honestly though that can be said for any year. We change, the moment changes, our environment changes, and so on. What is life without change? Time is the one thing that changes yet seems never changing. We measure time, and watching the numbers count up (or in some cases down) we measure change, but time is the one constant in the universe that everything is beholden to. Humans and even animals and plants recognize time, if not on a technological and quantifiable level, then at least on a base level. Everything understands that there are cycles we must adhere to, even the stars themselves. What would it be like to master time? Somehow I think if we were ever to realize fully the nature of time, either we would evolve much more quickly, or our minds would burn out from the sheer gravity of the knowledge. Time is truth, and with time all things are possible. To master time, is to become a God of sorts. Imagine if we could master time.....
If there was the chance to be able to traverse time, to change it, to make decisions based on the knowledge you have now, what would it be? Would you travel back to rid the world of a maniacal dictator, or travel forward to see the future and what we've become? Would you use that power to make yourself more comfortable, or to try and help people? Would your hands be tired from meddling in the affairs of universe, or would your eyes be tired from observing the world?
What would you do if you could control time?
I'm sitting at work listening to the song birds of the Celtic Woman troupe sing their catalogue, and their melodious tones are soothing. I think I need that sort of comfort in the new year. Looking across the lunch room at a newspaper my co-workers was holding up the headline read something like "Taliban Winning - Study Shows". An off-handed but sobering reminder that I had participated in a war that people believe we're losing. Maybe I should step back a bit, and think of happier things.
The space shuttle has only five more runs until she retires, and then we still have little wait until her replacement shows up. Somehow when I think of the new rocket coming in, it's like watching a mid-life crisis happening. You get rid of your wife, rough around the edges but had taken care of your kids, for a slim sweet looking little slip of a thing. Strange how that comparison seems to fit. It's a year for change, or at least it has great potential for change. Honestly though that can be said for any year. We change, the moment changes, our environment changes, and so on. What is life without change? Time is the one thing that changes yet seems never changing. We measure time, and watching the numbers count up (or in some cases down) we measure change, but time is the one constant in the universe that everything is beholden to. Humans and even animals and plants recognize time, if not on a technological and quantifiable level, then at least on a base level. Everything understands that there are cycles we must adhere to, even the stars themselves. What would it be like to master time? Somehow I think if we were ever to realize fully the nature of time, either we would evolve much more quickly, or our minds would burn out from the sheer gravity of the knowledge. Time is truth, and with time all things are possible. To master time, is to become a God of sorts. Imagine if we could master time.....
If there was the chance to be able to traverse time, to change it, to make decisions based on the knowledge you have now, what would it be? Would you travel back to rid the world of a maniacal dictator, or travel forward to see the future and what we've become? Would you use that power to make yourself more comfortable, or to try and help people? Would your hands be tired from meddling in the affairs of universe, or would your eyes be tired from observing the world?
What would you do if you could control time?
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