Here I go again!

Everyone else has decided to politicize the latest death of a Canadian soldier in Afghanistan, so I might as well do the same....

Give it a rest people. It wasn't that long ago that I decided to write a piece on the uselessness of Peacekeeping in the current world conflict, and I stand by it. Every time I hear someone say that Canada has a proud peacekeeping tradition and that we should return to our peacekeeping roots, I want to grab them by the scruff of the neck and start ramming their heads into a wall. Why? Because as I've stated previously peacekeeping simply does not work the way the world perceives it. The public has to come to terms with this at some point. Namely we'll have to wait for the post Korea/pre 21st century people to die off to put this misnomer to bed.

Now I decline to bad mouth any soldiers service during Canada's heightened period of peacekeeping. If anything those who had served as peacekeepers should hold their heads high because of the lousy job that was given to them. The politicizing of their operations made their lives incredibly difficult, not to mention the fact that you put people who are trained to conduct wartime operations, into a position and tell them to police the problems of another nation. Sheer insanity! What do you mean I can't shoot back? I have to get the UN Security council approval to conduct a raid to ensure the arms don't get to the insurgents? Three DAYS!?!?! People are killing one another and I have to make sure everything is legal??!??! And if you don't believe anything I just wrote, try looking into missions like the one in Rwanda, when General Romeo Dallaire was left high and dry to fix the problems of an entire nation. If anything what the UN did to that man was criminal in itself.

Canada's military is a force for good, but we are a standing army. A standing army is meant to enforce the will of a nation through the mandate of its leadership. If it is the will of the nation to go to war then the army will be used for that purpose. Canada has throughout history stood for peaceful endeavours, and Canadians encourage the peaceful behaviour of other nations as well as our own. However what Canada seems to forget is that we may work for peace tirelessly, but there will always be times when our effort is not enough. The true north strong and free started out as a conquered land, and war has been waged within her borders. We have fought here, and abroad, because throughout the maturation of Canada, blood had to be spilt in order for our society and way of life to grow. We've needed to make mistakes in order to prosper. Peacekeeping was one of those mistakes. We took an overly simple process and complicated it to the point of impracticality, and employed it. In other words the idea of policing problem spots around the world was a simple idea, but when political bodies became so ingrained in the decision making process, nothing was able to be done quickly, and as a result the people we were sent to protect suffered.

Now the public at large takes the idea that Canada's role in the world is that of peacekeepers, even though we have fought bloody battles many times in the last 100 years. Our military at those times were employed to do exactly what they were trained for : to fight and win the war.

So now with the current conflict being Afghanistan, the public is outraged every time one of our soldiers is killed. The war is going on too long. Our soldiers lives are being wasted. The war is accomplishing nothing. Statements like these are nothing but pipe dreams in the minds of the public. We have not 'declared' war on anybody, other than to say that we 'declared' a war on terror. Terrorism does not have a standing army, nor a nation to call it's own. It is pervasive, subversive, and poisonous to a society. As the world shrinks and globalism encroaches, terrorism is something that will eventually wind up here whether we want it or not. The FLQ crisis is a clear cut example of such unsavoury acts created in the minds of a few mad men. Instead of looking on our own soil for such people, our government decided to look elsewhere. So now we have a 'war', which is not so popular, and is fuel for the fire of the far left. What a crock.

It's war. It's war whether or not we declared it, whether or not we wanted it. Until the government collapses, the military will continue its enforcement of the government mandate, the same government which we elected. The military will continue its proud tradition of soldiery, not peacekeeping. I prefer to leave the pie in the sky, perfect world ideals to the people who don't have to risk their lives in foreign lands at the whim of elected officials. The same people who protest these decisions have yet to end conflict, because even by protesting they create conflict, and their ideals won't stop the rockets coming down on my head the next time I deploy.

I haven't been a peacekeeper. I will willingly become one if my government places me in that position, but I am a soldier first and foremost, and I will stand with my brothers and sisters and help carry out the lawful orders as given.

RIP Trooper Blais. We'll see you when we get there.

Wantings....

As the title says. Wantings are what we all have at any given time. It could be something simple like a car, or those concert tickets. It could be complicated like love, or a stable home life. We all have them. Some people have greater wantings than others, driven by a need that the outsiders could never understand. The needs generated by those wantings are rarely ever fully understood by the person experiencing them, driving them to greater heights in search of that fulfillment.

I've been to war, but I have a hard time calling myself a veteran. It's a title that I reserve for everyone else but me, and I can't understand why. I spent almost seven months in a place where the enemy was actively engaged in killing my countrymen and women, a place where I could not tell who was for us or against us. It was a place where I took risks by leaving the safety of the main camp to ensure supplies got to the FOB's, providing security for the tech's and supply techs. Delivering the goods as the song goes. I've driven past the places where men have died, became a sitting duck a few times, and beat the odds. Not one round fired at me. No IED's. No blood. A few tears shed for my brothers whose luck ran out, and scars on the heart because of the loss. That's enough isn't it? I should be able to look myself in the mirror at the end of the day and say I've fulfilled my obligations, taken my chances and done enough to earn the respect I've been looking for. I should.......

I've been searching for the opportunity, an opening in the vault so to speak, to be able to grab that self coveted title and wear it with pride. The vault was open, but when I looked there was nothing there. I grasp at nothing. Fuck.

What have I been searching for all this time? I'm not sure. The only true thing I do know is that I haven't got it yet. I haven't been able to give myself the due that in my soul seems so necessary for my own self worth. The civilian populace cannot even fathom how I feel about this issue, because they are so far removed from a culture of self sacrifice and honour, that it's a foreign ideal. I've never felt more useful in my life than when I was toting a rifle in a war zone, asking the Gods to allow me another days grace to help my brethren. I felt ultimately responsible for all those around me, and it was the most fulfilling feeling I've had since my marriage, and the birth of my girls. I was at that time worth something. Two years later and I'm sitting here writing this at a desk in my civilian workplace and I'm at a low point. Here my self worth suffers. The work doesn't give me that sense of elation, and causes my soul to drag. But I'm comfortable. Change is an exceptionally hard thing for me to do, so I make the best of what I have. At my other job, my real job, I'm happier. Self worth is restored, and I have everything to look forward to. I have passion for the work, and my cohorts are worth my time, and if necessary, they are worth my blood. The regiment is my extended family, and without them I don't feel I could survive this wasteland of empty wantings. A land where the common man feels his life is complete as long as he has that motorcycle, or that big screen TV to watch sports on. Sure his job is a hassle, but they're the ones who give him the pay cheque to buy the toys that keep him happy.

I must be crazy. That just doesn't sound like happiness to me. I need something more. I need something..... Maybe the war will provide that something. Gods help me I need that something.....